can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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