and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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