STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
