Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
