I just pynch a tree in the face
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
