SEEEEXXX PLEASE
are you so shy because you have an std?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
