God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
