I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
