i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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