was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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