Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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