How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
