i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sorry about my life...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
