No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
