So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I wear drunk well.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
