Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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