I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
