just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize