i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
