Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize