ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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