I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
