I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
