Yo dont text me then not text me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Rumble strips road head = magical
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
