Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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