I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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