Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He passed out mid-signature
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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