You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
