Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
