I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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