i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
