doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
