I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize