Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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