Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
