just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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