I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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