Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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