I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
