Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize