Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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