he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
