I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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