I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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