I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
