next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
