ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
NoShamevember. You game?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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