2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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