We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
