So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
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Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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