I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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