i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
