ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
