Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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