You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
