but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
