The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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