Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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