Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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