handjob tips. give me some.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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