She's like a pop up book from hell.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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