so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
