so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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