Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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