wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
